I went to bed last night feeling like I let myself down. I went to bed last night mad at myself because I have let this problem drag on for a while now. I was mad because I did nothing to stop what I knew I could. I have a tendency to eat and eat and eat nonstop. I normally wouldn’t let something like this bug me but I’ve only exercised twice in the last three weeks. There’s a part of me that’s terrified that I will go back to the weight that I was when I was bullied. In my mind if I go back to that weight I will be bullied again (it was engraved into my mind when I was the victim). I don’t want that to happen to me. I broke down and cried last night when I laid down in my bed because I felt guilty for the continuos stuffing of food into my mouth. I came to the realization last night that I do have a problem, not a serious one, but a problem that should not be put on the back burner anymore. It’s going to be a long battle for me physically, emotionally, and mentally, but I am strong and I will make it. I know that all of this sounds really hypricritical of myself but lately my self confidence has slipped and to be honest it hurts. It hurts to think that with making this statement public that I am letting you (all of my readers) down. I am not saying that I am at an unhealthy weight, I’m just saying that I am not treating my body with the respect, and confidence that it needs. There is a saying that those who always help are the ones that need help the most. So I have decided that I am going to embark on this new journey of healthy living. I have decided to come up with rules for me to follow.
- Stay Strong
- I am enough
- No junk food
- Eat healthy
- Replacing junk food with more fruits and vegetables
- A selfie a day to mark progress and boost of encouragement
- Keep reminding myself that I am who I am and any size is perfect.
- Love myself
- Remind myself that I am doing this to be healthy and that I am not doing this to loose weight and be stick thin.
Now this doesn’t mean that I need to seek any professional help or anything along the lines. I’m not starving myself or anything serious like that. I am doing what I believe is the best and healtiest choice for my body in the years to come.
I just want to say that I am going to continue with new blog posts everyday. These posts will help me through what I am going through along with helping others along the way. I love each and everyone of you. Remember to Stay Strong no matter what life throws at you.