Starve Yourself

Starve Yourself

By: RJ Stone 

You woke up this morning feeling fat.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and hated what you saw.

You cried while you were in the shower because when you looked down at your body you only saw rolls of fat.

You put on sweatpants and a sweater because you felt that your fat would show in clothes that were not baggy.

***

You skipped breakfast today because you knew that if you ate it would add more weight to your body.

You started to feel depressed when you where at school because you looked around and saw how happy all the thin kids were.

You decided to skip lunch as well.

Your stomach started to growl as you were walking in the front door of your house.

***

Instead of eating an after school snack, you change into clothes for a run.

While you were running you noticed that your hunger pains went away.

From that moment on you decided to eat once a day and exercise twice a day.

After you finished your run the hunger pains came back and you started to get lightheaded.

You made the decision to eat a lot for dinner to make up for not eating at all that day.

Before going to bed you looked through a magazine and seen an advertisement with a stick thin model that had prominent cheek bones.

You cried yourself to sleep because you thought that you would never look that way.

This new unhealthy pattern will continue for a couple of months.

***

A couple of months have passed now and you still woke up this morning feeling fat.

You looked in the mirror with disgust even though you have now lost ten pounds.

You decided to start taking pills that control your appetite and help you loose more weight.

After school you did your normal workout routine.

At dinner you at a small salad.

You should have felt happy that you were eating healthy, but you didn’t feel happy at all.

In fact, you were forcing yourself to eat that salad.

Because with every fork full of lettuce you were calculating how any calories you were about to eat and how much you were going to have to run because of it.

You will continue with this new habit for a few weeks.

***

Today you woke up feeling exhausted and weak.

You looked at yourself in the mirror.

You have now lost a total of twenty pounds and it shows.

Your collar bones are now very noticeable, in fact you can see them through your shirt.

There is a shadow casted on your cheeks by your cheekbones because of how much weight you have lost.

While you were in the shower you could feel the bar of soap touching every bone in your body as you moved it across your skin.

Every now and then you get lightheaded throughout the day.

But you are used to it by now and it doesn’t affect you anymore.

***

Today when you got home from school the only thing that you could think about was going for a run.

Even though your empty stomach was speaking and your head was pounding you still got ready for a run.

As you were changing into your clothes you passed out.

You woke up about thirty minutes later and still decided to go for a run.

When you finished your run, you forced yourself to eat an apple.

You felt guilty and fat for eating that apple.

As you made your way to your room for bed you caught your reflection in a picture frame.

You were terrified at what you saw.

***

You will eventually change your eating habits and maintain a healthy weight.

But you have a long and bumpy road ahead of you.

I will be here waiting for you to fall off the wagon and catch you.

I will lead you back to your skeleton like figure.

Sincerely,

Your Eating Disorder 

Goal: This is what we as a society have done to our fellow peers, we make each other feel ugly and fat because if we don’t look a certain way something has to be changed.  When we put too much of an emphasis on being thin a persons self-esteem is demolished and is hard to build back up.  Eating disorders are a real thing.  It`s not just something that you read about in textbooks and magazines.  It`s not just something that you see in TV shows and movies.  Eating disorders are real life.  Anyone can fall victim to an eating disorder.  The problem is most cases are not noticeable in fact your closest friend could be suffering from it right now and you wouldn’t even notice it.  There is help out there for victims here is the number for the eating disorder hotline: (855) 894-1834.  This is why I encourage everyone to be happy with the body that they have, all it takes is a little push or a shove to help someone with these problems.  It might be more than a push at times; a hand to hold along the way would be a great encouragement/support tool.  For those of you that are reading this and have an issue related or similar to todays post; I encourage you to Stay Strong and seek help.  It might seem scary at first to ask for help but it is a decision that you will not regret.

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